Breath of Heaven

When discussing the name that God gave Himself in Exodus 3:13-15, I mentioned to my closest friend Diana that scholars are not quite sure how to pronounce YHWH since the Jews eventually considered God's name too holy to even speak. Sharing something she had recently seen on Facebook, Diana suggested that we try to pronounce it given the letters that we have, not adding any vowels as is common when the name is transcribed into our modern Yahweh or Jehovah. This attempt to pronounce God's name comes out breathy, immediately making me think of the ethereal nature of the Holy Spirit. YH (inhale) WH (exhale). The sound of breath.

A few weeks prior to this conversation with Diana, I was following along with a yoga instructor on YouTube who invited us to join her in saying this mantra: "My breath is my anchor; my anchor is my breath." Wanting to put the emphasis on the fact that my body is God's temple and not my own, I changed her mantra to "My anchor is Jesus, who gives me my breath." I've used this mantra effectively in the heat of the moment when I can feel my emotions hijacking my thought processes. It takes the focus off of my immediate circumstances, redirects me to Jesus, and reminds me to breathe. My breath—required for life itself—comes from God. Trying to speak His name—YHWH—requires that breath; it sounds like breath itself.

God often speaks profound truths to me through His "still, small voice" (I Kings 19:11-13, KJV*) via the lyrics of songs playing in the background of my head. I will often find myself humming along with a song for a few days before I pause long enough to notice the lyrics and the message being conveyed. I experienced this very thing a few weeks after my conversation with Diana; my inner DJ was playing a song by Amy Grant that I listened to often when I was younger. Although I could only remember a few lines from the chorus of the song, I found that they not only calmed my soul, but they also became a cry of longing to God: "Breath of Heaven, lighten my darkness. Pour over me Your holiness, for You are Holy."  So much truth is packed into this part of the chorus! [I had previously understood the words to be "...light in my darkness," which references a metaphor Jesus used of himself (John 8:12). He is our light in the darkness! But when I realized the lyrics were actually "...lighten my darkness," the message became even stronger. Instead of a declarative metaphor, these lyrics are actually a plea: "Please come lighten my load; take this darkness from me; make it light inside my soul."] So much longing for God's presence to fill us from the inside out! This mental imagery of breath, unseen air, the Holy Spirit being poured over me brought me to tears. I'm not alone. I'm breathing because He gives me my breath. Just trying to say His name reminds me of these truths—YHWH. He is here. He is with me. Just breathe.

*I often wonder exactly how God revealed Himself to Elijah in that cave. I look forward to finding Elijah in Heaven and asking what that experience of surviving a tornado, an earthquake, and a fire was like. Did he need these scary moments to heighten his expectation of God's presence so his ears would be attuned to that tiny whisper? Did God reveal Himself to Elijah through the lyrics of a song that took him hours or days to pay attention to? Was it anything like a bolt of lightning? The story-lover within me cannot wait to sit at the feet of Jesus and others to ask them about "the good ol' days!" (And yet, I know we'll all realize that those days were nothing in comparison to the new life we'll have with Christ in Heaven!)