Curiosity

Although often associated with the playfulness of our feline friends, this term can be both scary and liberating at the same time. For many devout Christians, however, it is sometimes treated with reproach, like even thinking about the concept will cause us to sin. I say, "Let's wrestle with it."

Many well-meaning Christians are incredulous when I mention that I practice mindfulness and yoga. From their perspective, I have disowned God and my faith, turning my back on His holiness and whoring after other gods. In the spirit of acceptance, I want to point out that such a reaction tells me that they love God fiercely and desire to serve Him wholeheartedly, without a trace of deception. These people see God's holiness first and foremost. Drawing from R. C. Sproul's sermon series on the topic, I can see their desire is to bring Him honor and glory by setting themselves apart, so I do not fault them for trying to follow and please God.

Although it may be invisible to such people, I, too, desire to serve God with my whole heart. In order to do so, however, I had to learn to be curious about who He made me to be, for I had lost a connection with myself somewhere along the way. I've since uncovered and discovered wonderful concepts like agency, autonomy, authenticity, self-compassion, value, and worth as I have wrestled with hurts and bad mental habits caused by shame, insecurity, and judgment. I have learned that my symptoms of rigidity and a desire for control are just that: symptoms. They do not define me; instead, they indicate that something is amiss. Curiosity allows me to step back and see more clearly so that I can indeed emphasize God's holiness through my own desire to be set apart in service to Him.

Balance

One of the most complicated issues of God's "upside-down kingdom" involves the paradox of ideas and concepts that require balance. Yes, God is holy, telling Moses to take off his sandals because he was standing on holy ground. He is also merciful, reminding Moses later in life that He is a "compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin" (Exodus 34:6-7). We are called to "be holy because [God] is holy" (Leviticus 11:44, 45) and the Hebrew people—even though they kept messing up—were reminded that because God chose them they were holy, yet as Hannah dedicates Samuel to the service of the temple, she reminds us in her song that we cannot be holy like God. Understanding such paradoxical truths requires balance and sometimes a shrug of the shoulders as we admit that these things may seem to contradict each other yet they can still be true.

From Adriene: Home-30 Day Yoga Journey, Day 14 "Return"

"In the philosophy of yoga, we are not actually trying to ever work towards a goal of becoming someone or something that we are not already. We are already that thing. That which we desire we already possess" (2:15-2:45).

Grasping such a concept requires balance. As Christians, we know that we are working toward sanctification because none of us is righteous and any attempts we make are as effective as bloody garments. Because we strive to be more than we currently are and we hope for the promise of a glorified body in Heaven, we are indeed working toward a goal. In this way, I disagree with Adriene. At the same time, the shaming nature of many sermons results in tearing down any sense of self-worth (i.e. God-worth) as given to us by the Creator. Even though He knew that mankind would sin, He still declared His creation to be good; He continually "demonstrates His own love for us" by reminding us that "while we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). If He loves us that much, we should also love ourselves. We need to find balance between being okay with where we are while at the same time trying to better ourselves. We are walking paradoxes.